my dad refuses to believe that i'm not willingly acting this way

rsflores9 · 11-05-2009, 04:51 PM

for a few years, i have been very distant towards my family, and my doctor said it was just a symptom of my depression and borderline personality disorder.

my dad refuses to believe this, and says i am just selfish, and has pretty much written me off, and tells everyone in the family that he has "failed" with me and that i am just selfish and have a one track mind.

how can i convince him that it's not my choice to shut people out this way, and that i'm really trying to work through this?

LCrawford67 · 11-05-2009, 06:12 PM

Welcome to paxilprogress!

Are you seeking therapy to help you with this?

rsflores9 · 11-05-2009, 06:33 PM

no, i do not have health insurance, so i'm currently suffering from withdrawal because i haven't been able to afford to see a doctor or get medication.

LCrawford67 · 11-05-2009, 06:35 PM

Ok, so were you on Paxil then? Give us a little more information regarding dose and how long you were on medication.

rsflores9 · 11-05-2009, 08:18 PM

i was on paxil for 6 months, and due to not being able to afford seeing a doctor, i had to stop taking them. i was on a 30mg dose

i really just want to know how to let my dad know i'm not just trying to be this way, depressed and withdrawn, but he thinks i am doing this on purpose to spite him.

Songbird · 11-06-2009, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rsflores9

my dad refuses to believe this, and says i am just selfish, and has pretty much written me off, and tells everyone in the family that he has "failed" with me and that i am just selfish and have a one track mind.

This is very sad. I don't know how you could get your dad to believe you, you can't change other people, you can only change yourself, and if he is not willing to be open-minded there is not much you can do. Maybe you could write him a letter explaining how you feel, and how it affects you when he speaks this way about you. If you can't afford therapy, maybe you could get some self-help books out of the library. I would recommend anything by Susan Jeffers and Louise Hay. Also, CBT books such as those by David Burns.

lauren · 11-16-2009, 01:20 PM

I agree with SongBird. I definitely think you should write down how you feel and try to explain things to your dad. Many people get angry and frustrated because they do not understand. I went through something similar with my husband. He was withdrawn and quiet during his depression. I didn't understand depression because I had never had that. I called him selfish and took out my frustrations on him; I even belittled him for feeling a way he couldn't help. Sad to say, it took a very long year of being alone with my thoughts to FINALLY get to the point where I could put myself in his shoes. It's a hard lesson to learn, but if there is anything you could do to help your father, and other family members, try to understand what you are going through, it would be a tremendous help to you. I hope everything works out for you.

Charlie · 11-16-2009, 04:28 PM

Do you have a free county health clinic where you are? How long have you been off Paxil?

jule1 · 11-16-2009, 04:53 PM

I feel like this is a daily challenge that I think everyone on here faces. I think it makes you a stronger person to stand true to what you believe when so many (the majority) are telling you it's all in your head. People just aren't educated about this sort of thing.

anjopom · 11-17-2009, 12:57 AM

RS,

I really feel for you as I have been in your shoes too, but with family , "normal" people just dont get how badly we are affected by these drugs, and you did c/t 30mg paxil through no fault of your own, so i understand how and what you are feeling. Its not their fault, even the doctors are ill informed about w/d, and c/t w/d is harder - i know i did it, and had to reinstate.

These people who do not understand simply think we are looking for attention, being selfish and not considering others, i know ive heard it all.

Can you get your dad to come and read here?
Maybe, show him the responses to your post?

I wish i could help more.

11-05-2009, 04:51 PM	#1
rsflores9 Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 3	my dad refuses to believe that i'm not willingly acting this way for a few years, i have been very distant towards my family, and my doctor said it was just a symptom of my depression and borderline personality disorder. my dad refuses to believe this, and says i am just selfish, and has pretty much written me off, and tells everyone in the family that he has "failed" with me and that i am just selfish and have a one track mind. how can i convince him that it's not my choice to shut people out this way, and that i'm really trying to work through this?

11-05-2009, 06:12 PM	#2
LCrawford67 Moderator "Everybody poops" Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Ohio Posts: 26,483	Re: my dad refuses to believe that i'm not willingly acting this way Welcome to paxilprogress! Are you seeking therapy to help you with this? __________________ aka LC aka Laurie C. Paxil, 20 mg since 1997, for IBS Two unsuccessful attempts to quit. Started tapering 11/27/06 PAXIL FREE 12/29/07 If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice. ~Meister Eckhart Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants. ~Kevin James

11-05-2009, 06:33 PM	#3
rsflores9 Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 3	Re: my dad refuses to believe that i'm not willingly acting this way no, i do not have health insurance, so i'm currently suffering from withdrawal because i haven't been able to afford to see a doctor or get medication.

11-05-2009, 06:35 PM	#4
LCrawford67 Moderator "Everybody poops" Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Ohio Posts: 26,483	Re: my dad refuses to believe that i'm not willingly acting this way Ok, so were you on Paxil then? Give us a little more information regarding dose and how long you were on medication. __________________ aka LC aka Laurie C. Paxil, 20 mg since 1997, for IBS Two unsuccessful attempts to quit. Started tapering 11/27/06 PAXIL FREE 12/29/07 If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice. ~Meister Eckhart Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants. ~Kevin James

11-05-2009, 08:18 PM	#5
rsflores9 Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 3	Re: my dad refuses to believe that i'm not willingly acting this way i was on paxil for 6 months, and due to not being able to afford seeing a doctor, i had to stop taking them. i was on a 30mg dose i really just want to know how to let my dad know i'm not just trying to be this way, depressed and withdrawn, but he thinks i am doing this on purpose to spite him.

11-16-2009, 01:20 PM	#7
lauren Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 45	Re: my dad refuses to believe that i'm not willingly acting this way I agree with SongBird. I definitely think you should write down how you feel and try to explain things to your dad. Many people get angry and frustrated because they do not understand. I went through something similar with my husband. He was withdrawn and quiet during his depression. I didn't understand depression because I had never had that. I called him selfish and took out my frustrations on him; I even belittled him for feeling a way he couldn't help. Sad to say, it took a very long year of being alone with my thoughts to FINALLY get to the point where I could put myself in his shoes. It's a hard lesson to learn, but if there is anything you could do to help your father, and other family members, try to understand what you are going through, it would be a tremendous help to you. I hope everything works out for you. __________________ "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." My Story: 12/2004: Fell in love with the man of my dreams! 05/2005: Moved to UK to live with him, happiest year of my life!! 06/06: Moved to TX, got married! 05/08: Bought our first home! 09/08: We're pregnant! 09/08: Husband starts Paxil 20mg 03/10/09: Realized Paxil was the culprit! 03/16/09: 10mg 03/25/09: 5mg 4/6/09: 2.5mg every night 06/12/09: cold turkey and Paxil free

11-16-2009, 04:28 PM	#8
Charlie Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 7,561	Re: my dad refuses to believe that i'm not willingly acting this way Do you have a free county health clinic where you are? How long have you been off Paxil? __________________ The truth is the truth even if no one believes it, and a lie is a lie even if everyone believes it." Knowledge speaks ....... Wisdom listens Charlie www.ThePaxilProtest.com

11-16-2009, 04:53 PM	#9
jule1 Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 876	Re: my dad refuses to believe that i'm not willingly acting this way I feel like this is a daily challenge that I think everyone on here faces. I think it makes you a stronger person to stand true to what you believe when so many (the majority) are telling you it's all in your head. People just aren't educated about this sort of thing. __________________ Was on Effexor (150mg) @January? of 2006 until January 1, 2008. Weaned off over 3 month period with no instructions of weaning from doctor. 22 months off Effexor and still trying to get through it. Supplements: Tryptophan, Tyrosine, Magnesium, Fish Oil, Calcium D, Inositol, Stress B Complex, Ashwagandha, Progesterone Cream, Vit C

11-17-2009, 12:57 AM	#10
anjopom Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 1,548	Re: my dad refuses to believe that i'm not willingly acting this way RS, I really feel for you as I have been in your shoes too, but with family , "normal" people just dont get how badly we are affected by these drugs, and you did c/t 30mg paxil through no fault of your own, so i understand how and what you are feeling. Its not their fault, even the doctors are ill informed about w/d, and c/t w/d is harder - i know i did it, and had to reinstate. These people who do not understand simply think we are looking for attention, being selfish and not considering others, i know ive heard it all. Can you get your dad to come and read here? Maybe, show him the responses to your post? I wish i could help more. __________________ medicated by doctor for grief. 15th Jan 1997 -Nov 2005 30mg paxil, c/t off by doctor. Dec 05, prozac 20mg, propranelol and 10mg Diazepam. March o6 c/t - doctor. April 06 -Nov 07 20mg paxil, Nov 07 - 18mg, dec 07 -16mg, jan 08 - 14mg, feb -12mg, mar -10mg,jul -9mg,aug -8.5mg,oct -8mg,nov -7.5mg,dec 08-7mg, jan09-6.5mg,feb-6mg, 1st mar-5.5mg,end mar -5mg,apr-4.2mg,CRASHED, may-5mg, aug-4.5mg,sept-3.8mg, oct-3.2mg, oct - 2.8mg, nov, 2.2mg. Currently taking 300mg magnesium!!!!!

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