My tapering thread/journal

[BlueEyes]

Carolyn: Just dropping in to wish you a happy 3.1 mg day for you!!!

Glad to hear your mom is okay!

And it really sounds like you've truly learned how to use those CBT techniques in all facets of your life - just how you talk to yourself about going to crowded places, etc. Very well done. I learn from you all the time!

Terri

[Mixter]

I agree, too! I checked here because I feel kind of having a new reality agreement/acceptance to say, and it is a bit hard, it is a bit new for me.
You are a tough woman Carolyn!

I didnt know about this when you are walking and all things that are there in my vision make my brain "wanting to shutdown", but per se it is not like when I was going CT, but still feels quite hard. It must be the sensitivity everyone is talking about. This feeling of being naked!

It is kind of anxiety for the unknown, but I know better, and I am trying to push through pre-set thought patterns and reactions to it to come further!

Also, I feel kind of dumb saying that... It must be the withdrawal!

[carolyn]

Hi guys! Thanks for the nice words. {{{HUG}}}

It's a good reminder to me because I'm having a rough night tonight. It's 4am again and my sleeping has sucked tonight! I've been feeling short of breath again (oxygen sat is just fine so it must be anxiety) and I keep having dreams that I'm anxious and short of breath and then I wake up anxious and short of breath. Then, back to dreaming that I'm anxious and short of breath...lather, rinse, repeat.

I finally just got out of bed and am puttering on the computer to try to reset my brain.

It's frustrating -- I slept pretty well the three nights that I was camping upstairs because hubby had the flu. As soon as I went back to sleeping in bed, I started sleeping poorly again! Ugh.

I hate these 4am wakeup calls because I'm so tired that it's hard to tell my brain that I'm not having a heart attack.

[carolyn]

I just shot my CBT therapist an email about the sleep issues I've been having. I think I'm getting "sleep anxiety" because I dread going to bed as I "know" I'll wake up at 4am...then, naturally, I do!

So I'm hoping she'll have some tips. I'll share, of course.

[rain]

Have that sleep anxiety also...but it's about falling off to sleep. Once I do fall off, I usually sleep. Its been better recently... falling off is a bit easier now. I personally don't think it's w/d related... I think it's "me" related.

I hope your therapist has some words of wisdom. The actual "not sleeping" isn't what bothers me. It's knowing how awful I'll feel the next day. I'm like a five year old when I don't sleep - cranky and impossible to be around!

[Jess_Reyna]

Hi Carolyn! Cant wait to see what she tells you. I get that a little too since I am usually jolted awake after about 10 minutes of sleep. Then I go back to sleep and I'm ok. Its so weird.

[Songbird]

I've had the sleep anxiety at bedtime a lot, but with me it is about falling asleep. Once I actually get to sleep I'm usually all right. I found valerian helpful for this, as well as physically helping me to fall asleep, taking something I know will help reassures my mind and so it stops worrying.

Let us know what your therapist comes up with!

[carolyn]

Reply from the therapist:

Hi Carolyn,

I am sorry to hear you're having this problem. Hopefully it's just a little glitch. It's a bit more, however, than I can just give a couple of tips for. Would you be able to come for a session to talk about it?

Warmly,

Marina

Works for me! I'm trying to get in this week and am looking forward to seeing her for a "tune up".

[AussieGirl]

I get this alot too so will be VERY keen to hear the tips too.

Hugs Michaela xoxo

[Jess_Reyna]

Your therapist sounds so nice and caring Carolyn. That's always good.

[WhatIsNormal]

Sorry for the sleep anxiety... sounds like you have a good therapist there though. I get sleep anxiety when I am really really really tired, but can't fall asleep b/c my brain won't shut off. It doesn't even seem to make sense lol It is like okay brain... you are this tired, but yet you won't shut up?

[carolyn]

Hi guys! I see my therapist tomorrow afternoon. I'm pretty excited. While prepping for the appointment, I realized that I'm terrified of going on vacation next week. I think that's what's been ramping up my anxiety and bugging my sleeping. Hubby and I have been planning this since July and I'm really looking forward to it....but I'm terrified that I'll have anxiety/panic on the plane or while there and it'll "ruin" the vacation.