My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. - Page 7

lauren · 07-15-2009, 10:37 PM

He has been off it since I found out about their affair, which has been about 5 weeks now.

I don't know...

Gibby · 07-15-2009, 10:42 PM

Lauren, my heart aches for you, but I do believe you are a very strong person and you will be okay. Only you know what you can take and what you can't and yes, I do believe that a relationship can survive what yours has been through. As long as their is love then anything can work.

What will be, will be...the future's not ours to see.
Again, best of luck to you and know that I am thinking about you and your family situation.

lauren · 07-15-2009, 10:47 PM

thank you gibby. How are things going on your end? How is your husband? Is he still on 5mg?

Songbird · 07-15-2009, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lauren

I have told him that I have already moved on and it's his choice whether or not he wants to move on with us (me and Sam).

This is interesting - now it is up to him and you've made that very clear to him! You do sound strong. I hope he comes to his senses and realises what an awesome woman you are.

carolyn · 07-15-2009, 11:56 PM

Lauren, seriously, you sound like an incredibly strong and brave woman. I know you must be having doubts and fears inside but your attitude is tremendous. I know that you'll make the right choice for you and Sam, and that you'll be in a good place no matter what happens.

Thanks for coming by and saying hi to us!

Jax · 07-16-2009, 03:17 PM

You deserve a party Lauren! You are amazingly strong! And pictures would be fabulous... I don't have any kids but love to look at everyone elses.

Gibby · 07-16-2009, 07:46 PM

I'm still on the roller coaster ride with my husband. His actions towards me are much better, almost back to normal. He has been skipping doses, he takes 5mg for two days and then skips a day. I tried to warn him of the dangers, but ya know I've warned him a thousand times so I'm just letting this one ride out on it's own:{ He's been doing this for about a month now, so I've just been keeping a close eye on him? Don't know what else to do at this point.
Thanks for asking and you take care of yourself and Sam.

lauren · 07-17-2009, 12:02 AM

Hey! Here are some pictures of my little man! He is 8 weeks today...SUCH a big boy!
And a picture of my hot self after I decided to leave and move on with my life. I have decided that I deserve MUCH better and will not settle for less.

Thank you EVERYONE for your support, it means so much to me!!!! I could not have gotten through this without you guys. Thanks again! I will keep you posted if anything happens...

Songbird · 07-17-2009, 12:06 AM

He is very cute! I like the one of the two of you best!

lauren · 07-17-2009, 06:55 PM

Hey all,

I won't be writing on here anymore as I can not be as honest as I would like to be. If you would like to stay in touch, as i hope you will, here is my personal email address: laurenerogal@gmail.com

I wish everyone luck in their futures, tons of FUN, and loads of happiness!

lauren

carolyn · 07-17-2009, 07:01 PM

{{HUG}} Lots of luck and love to you, Lauren (I totally didn't intend for that to be alliteration

)

AussieGirl · 07-18-2009, 07:35 AM

Yes al the best and know you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

PS. Love the photo's you posted too !!!!

paxilgirl · 07-18-2009, 11:18 AM

Best of luck. Be true to yourself and your son!

lauren · 10-24-2009, 06:29 PM

Heeellllllooooo everyone!

I hope you all are doing well!!

I just wanted to update you guys. I am in school now, Sam is the big 5 month old now! Being a mom has been SUCH a blast! James is doing much better; he is back to his normal personality and behavior, after a whole year. There is a lot of damage that needs to be mended, something that can only be healed over time. We are not together- I am still at my father's house. We are talking, hanging out, and taking it slow. We don't know what's going to happen. Just a day at a time!

Last month he apologized; a real one. It was heart felt and I forgave him. Everything that has happened is in the past, and it's water under the bridge! We don't talk about it, and we will never mention it again. From now on it's the road to recovery. My family doesn't think I should have anything to do with him, but that's the nice part about being an adult.

You get to make your own choices!! I married my husband because I love him and am committed to him; for better or worse. Everyone deserves a second chance, and if our marriage can't be saved, it won't be because I gave up on him.

That aside, f*ck paxil for giving me the worst year of my life! But it has definitely made me stronger and I have learned so much about myself that needed to change.
I hope no one has to go through what I have been through the past year, goodness!
I hope everyone had a nice summer!

carolyn · 10-24-2009, 07:46 PM

Lauren!!!! {{{{HUG}}}}

So good to hear from you.

Your post made me so happy. Day by day, you're so right. Look at Sam! What a big cutie.

Thanks so much for the update!

scotty · 10-24-2009, 08:01 PM

I'm thrilled to hear that it's going well. What a cutie!

guitar77 · 10-24-2009, 09:51 PM

That's so good to hear!

AussieGirl · 10-24-2009, 10:34 PM

Hi Lauren. So pleased to read your post and the pic. of Sam is GORGEOUS.
Heres to a day at a time .

Love Michaela xo

scotia21 · 10-25-2009, 08:48 AM

Lauren - it is great news that you are all healing and moving on. I have often wondered how you were doing and I am glad that you are working on forgiving him and keeping the past in the past. These drugs can make the most kind, loving, caring person into an absolute monster and I know that you are thrilled to be seeing the real James again. It will keep getting better from here !

Songbird · 10-26-2009, 03:26 AM

Glad to hear you're enjoying motherhood, and that your husband has got his real personality back. I hope you two can work things out.

Gibby · 10-26-2009, 03:04 PM

Great news Lauren...and you are right about being an adult and being able to make your own choices. Also remember that your family is also just thinking of you and they too worry. I know it makes it hard but when your little Sam grows up to become a young man you will then understand what your family feels when you are hurt.

You are also very right about ...it going to take time!! That's the only thing that can make things better:}

Good luck to ya and you sound like your pretty happy right now!!

07-15-2009, 10:37 PM	#151
lauren Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 45	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. He has been off it since I found out about their affair, which has been about 5 weeks now. I don't know... __________________ "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." My Story: 12/2004: Fell in love with the man of my dreams! 05/2005: Moved to UK to live with him, happiest year of my life!! 06/06: Moved to TX, got married! 05/08: Bought our first home! 09/08: We're pregnant! 09/08: Husband starts Paxil 20mg 03/10/09: Realized Paxil was the culprit! 03/16/09: 10mg 03/25/09: 5mg 4/6/09: 2.5mg every night 06/12/09: cold turkey and Paxil free

07-15-2009, 10:42 PM	#152
Gibby Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Southern Illinois Posts: 1,145	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. Lauren, my heart aches for you, but I do believe you are a very strong person and you will be okay. Only you know what you can take and what you can't and yes, I do believe that a relationship can survive what yours has been through. As long as their is love then anything can work. What will be, will be...the future's not ours to see. Again, best of luck to you and know that I am thinking about you and your family situation. __________________ Husband's Paxil Story 3/07---20mg paxil 10/1--tried c/t, lasted 3 days 10/4---back on 19mg 1/2/08--down to 10mg 2/28/08--was taking 10mg every 3 or 4 days 4/12/08--10mg daily dose 7/2/08---dropped to 5mg (his choice):{ 7/11/08---up to 8mg 8/8/08---7mg 8/22/08--6mg?? 9/12/08--5mg 11/07/08--4mg 11/17/08--5mg 1/22/09--4mg 2/28/09--5mg:{ IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID... YOU'LL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS GOT!

07-15-2009, 10:47 PM	#153
lauren Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 45	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. thank you gibby. How are things going on your end? How is your husband? Is he still on 5mg? __________________ "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." My Story: 12/2004: Fell in love with the man of my dreams! 05/2005: Moved to UK to live with him, happiest year of my life!! 06/06: Moved to TX, got married! 05/08: Bought our first home! 09/08: We're pregnant! 09/08: Husband starts Paxil 20mg 03/10/09: Realized Paxil was the culprit! 03/16/09: 10mg 03/25/09: 5mg 4/6/09: 2.5mg every night 06/12/09: cold turkey and Paxil free

07-15-2009, 11:56 PM	#155
carolyn Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SF Bay Area, CA Posts: 3,105	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. Lauren, seriously, you sound like an incredibly strong and brave woman. I know you must be having doubts and fears inside but your attitude is tremendous. I know that you'll make the right choice for you and Sam, and that you'll be in a good place no matter what happens. Thanks for coming by and saying hi to us! __________________ 10mg: 5/02 - 8/07 for panic disorder 20mg: 8/07 - 8/08 CBT: 8/07 - 2/08. Recommended! 1 unsuccessful taper in 7/08; went back to 20mg 2008: 8/2: 18.75mg 8/24: 17.25mg 9/28: 16.10mg 10/19: 15mg 11/9: 13.75mg 11/30: 12.5mg 12/21: 11.25mg 2009: 1/11: 10.6mg 2/1: 10mg 2/22: 9.4mg 3/6: 9.2mg (liquid) 3/29: 8.4mg 4/19: 7.6mg 5/10: 6.8mg 5/31: 6.2mg 6/21: 5.6mg 7/12: 5.1mg 8/2: 4.8mg 8/23: 4.4mg 9/13: 4mg 10/4: 3.7mg 10/25: 3.4mg 11/15: 3.1mg

07-16-2009, 03:17 PM	#156
Jax Join Date: May 2008 Location: Iceburg, Idaho Posts: 510	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. You deserve a party Lauren! You are amazingly strong! And pictures would be fabulous... I don't have any kids but love to look at everyone elses. __________________ Got suicidal Oct. 2007, started 50 mg Zoloft Mess from Oct to Dec, off in Dec 2007 Jan 2008 - Prozac 20 mg, 40, back to 20, and then 10 mg July 6, 2008 - 7 mg Aug 5, 2008 - 5 mg Aug 9, 2008 - 7 mg Sep. 7, 2008 - 6 mg Oct. 6, 2008 - 5 mg Dec. 15, 2008 - 4 mg Feb. 10, 2009 - 3 mg March 25, 2009 - 2 mg April 20-ish, 2009 - 0 mg Also, I am Betsy's daughter. "All human wisdom is contained in these two words - Wait and hope." Edmond Dantes

07-16-2009, 07:46 PM	#157
Gibby Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Southern Illinois Posts: 1,145	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. I'm still on the roller coaster ride with my husband. His actions towards me are much better, almost back to normal. He has been skipping doses, he takes 5mg for two days and then skips a day. I tried to warn him of the dangers, but ya know I've warned him a thousand times so I'm just letting this one ride out on it's own:{ He's been doing this for about a month now, so I've just been keeping a close eye on him? Don't know what else to do at this point. Thanks for asking and you take care of yourself and Sam. __________________ Husband's Paxil Story 3/07---20mg paxil 10/1--tried c/t, lasted 3 days 10/4---back on 19mg 1/2/08--down to 10mg 2/28/08--was taking 10mg every 3 or 4 days 4/12/08--10mg daily dose 7/2/08---dropped to 5mg (his choice):{ 7/11/08---up to 8mg 8/8/08---7mg 8/22/08--6mg?? 9/12/08--5mg 11/07/08--4mg 11/17/08--5mg 1/22/09--4mg 2/28/09--5mg:{ IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID... YOU'LL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS GOT!

07-17-2009, 12:06 AM	#159
Songbird Join Date: May 2007 Location: New Zealand Posts: 7,046	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. He is very cute! I like the one of the two of you best! __________________ Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax Feb - Dec 03 Citalopram Jul 04 Aropax Jan 07 - Feb 08 20mg - 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg zopiclone > seroquel Jul 20mg Aug + methionine Oct aropax > loxamine Dec off seroquel 7 Dec 17.5mg 30 Dec 15mg 24 Jan 12.5mg 16 Feb 10mg 10 May 9mg 30 May 8mg 5 July 7.5mg 2 Aug 7.25mg 1 Sep 7mg 9 Oct 6.75mg 8 Nov 6.5mg Appreciation is the antidote to stress - Trust is the antidote to fear

07-17-2009, 06:55 PM	#160
lauren Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 45	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. Hey all, I won't be writing on here anymore as I can not be as honest as I would like to be. If you would like to stay in touch, as i hope you will, here is my personal email address: laurenerogal@gmail.com I wish everyone luck in their futures, tons of FUN, and loads of happiness! lauren __________________ "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." My Story: 12/2004: Fell in love with the man of my dreams! 05/2005: Moved to UK to live with him, happiest year of my life!! 06/06: Moved to TX, got married! 05/08: Bought our first home! 09/08: We're pregnant! 09/08: Husband starts Paxil 20mg 03/10/09: Realized Paxil was the culprit! 03/16/09: 10mg 03/25/09: 5mg 4/6/09: 2.5mg every night 06/12/09: cold turkey and Paxil free

07-17-2009, 07:01 PM	#161
carolyn Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SF Bay Area, CA Posts: 3,105	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. {{HUG}} Lots of luck and love to you, Lauren (I totally didn't intend for that to be alliteration ) __________________ 10mg: 5/02 - 8/07 for panic disorder 20mg: 8/07 - 8/08 CBT: 8/07 - 2/08. Recommended! 1 unsuccessful taper in 7/08; went back to 20mg 2008: 8/2: 18.75mg 8/24: 17.25mg 9/28: 16.10mg 10/19: 15mg 11/9: 13.75mg 11/30: 12.5mg 12/21: 11.25mg 2009: 1/11: 10.6mg 2/1: 10mg 2/22: 9.4mg 3/6: 9.2mg (liquid) 3/29: 8.4mg 4/19: 7.6mg 5/10: 6.8mg 5/31: 6.2mg 6/21: 5.6mg 7/12: 5.1mg 8/2: 4.8mg 8/23: 4.4mg 9/13: 4mg 10/4: 3.7mg 10/25: 3.4mg 11/15: 3.1mg

07-18-2009, 07:35 AM	#162
AussieGirl Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 1,223	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. Yes al the best and know you will be in my thoughts and prayers. PS. Love the photo's you posted too !!!! __________________ 1988-1997:Nardil ( MAOI) for PND & Panic attacks 1997: Off Nardil & comm.Paxil 60mgs 1998:Went c/t. w/d was awful . Went back on 40mgs paxil. 1998-2001: 20-10mgs paxil. 2002: 20mgs paxil whilst pregnant. Daughter 2 months prem 8th Sept.08 To 10mgsTHEN found this site!!!! 31st Oct. 10mgs struggling 1stDec.9mgs1stJan09.8mgs1stFeb.7.5mgs 28March6.8mgs23rdapril6.1mgspharmacist liquid23rdMay5.5mgs15Jun5mgs7thJuly4.5mgs[[b]23rdJulyCrashed. Back to 10mgs.

07-18-2009, 11:18 AM	#163
paxilgirl "Stinks of lavender" Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 10,382	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. Best of luck. Be true to yourself and your son! __________________ Paxilgirl Put on Paxil for situational depression in August 2003. Was also on .5 mg of Clonozapem. Started on 10mg and increased to 30mg. Weaned off during the summer of 2004. Became PAXIL FREE October 4, 2004. Completely recovered!!!

10-24-2009, 07:46 PM	#165
carolyn Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: SF Bay Area, CA Posts: 3,105	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. Lauren!!!! {{{{HUG}}}} So good to hear from you. Your post made me so happy. Day by day, you're so right. Look at Sam! What a big cutie. Thanks so much for the update! __________________ 10mg: 5/02 - 8/07 for panic disorder 20mg: 8/07 - 8/08 CBT: 8/07 - 2/08. Recommended! 1 unsuccessful taper in 7/08; went back to 20mg 2008: 8/2: 18.75mg 8/24: 17.25mg 9/28: 16.10mg 10/19: 15mg 11/9: 13.75mg 11/30: 12.5mg 12/21: 11.25mg 2009: 1/11: 10.6mg 2/1: 10mg 2/22: 9.4mg 3/6: 9.2mg (liquid) 3/29: 8.4mg 4/19: 7.6mg 5/10: 6.8mg 5/31: 6.2mg 6/21: 5.6mg 7/12: 5.1mg 8/2: 4.8mg 8/23: 4.4mg 9/13: 4mg 10/4: 3.7mg 10/25: 3.4mg 11/15: 3.1mg

10-24-2009, 08:01 PM	#166
scotty Administrator & Advocate Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: new jersey Posts: 38,590	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. I'm thrilled to hear that it's going well. What a cutie! __________________ AKA Laurie "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere." ~Frank A. Clark

10-24-2009, 09:51 PM	#167
guitar77 Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Colorado Posts: 363	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. That's so good to hear! __________________ Only taking magnesium and vitamin D.

10-24-2009, 10:34 PM	#168
AussieGirl Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 1,223	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. Hi Lauren. So pleased to read your post and the pic. of Sam is GORGEOUS. Heres to a day at a time . Love Michaela xo __________________ 1988-1997:Nardil ( MAOI) for PND & Panic attacks 1997: Off Nardil & comm.Paxil 60mgs 1998:Went c/t. w/d was awful . Went back on 40mgs paxil. 1998-2001: 20-10mgs paxil. 2002: 20mgs paxil whilst pregnant. Daughter 2 months prem 8th Sept.08 To 10mgsTHEN found this site!!!! 31st Oct. 10mgs struggling 1stDec.9mgs1stJan09.8mgs1stFeb.7.5mgs 28March6.8mgs23rdapril6.1mgspharmacist liquid23rdMay5.5mgs15Jun5mgs7thJuly4.5mgs[[b]23rdJulyCrashed. Back to 10mgs.

10-25-2009, 08:48 AM	#169
scotia21 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 5,419	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. Lauren - it is great news that you are all healing and moving on. I have often wondered how you were doing and I am glad that you are working on forgiving him and keeping the past in the past. These drugs can make the most kind, loving, caring person into an absolute monster and I know that you are thrilled to be seeing the real James again. It will keep getting better from here ! __________________ 1/05/07 20mg-17.5 1/20 17.5-15 2/24 15-12.5 3/08 12.5-10 3/29 10-7.5 4/12 7.5-5 6/15 5-3.75 6/30 3.75-2.5 7/28 2.5-1.5ish 8/11 1.5-1 8/25 1- zero "Keep lighting candles, eventually nobody will be in the dark" me "Why is it so hard for everybody to believe that a pill can change brain chemistry for the better but not for the worse?" me "Time does not come in pill form" me

10-26-2009, 03:26 AM	#170
Songbird Join Date: May 2007 Location: New Zealand Posts: 7,046	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. Glad to hear you're enjoying motherhood, and that your husband has got his real personality back. I hope you two can work things out. __________________ Jul 01-Feb 02 Aropax Feb - Dec 03 Citalopram Jul 04 Aropax Jan 07 - Feb 08 20mg - 5mg Apr 4.5mg 5mg Jun 10mg zopiclone > seroquel Jul 20mg Aug + methionine Oct aropax > loxamine Dec off seroquel 7 Dec 17.5mg 30 Dec 15mg 24 Jan 12.5mg 16 Feb 10mg 10 May 9mg 30 May 8mg 5 July 7.5mg 2 Aug 7.25mg 1 Sep 7mg 9 Oct 6.75mg 8 Nov 6.5mg Appreciation is the antidote to stress - Trust is the antidote to fear

10-26-2009, 03:04 PM	#171
Gibby Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Southern Illinois Posts: 1,145	Re: My name is Lauren and I'm looking for my husband. Great news Lauren...and you are right about being an adult and being able to make your own choices. Also remember that your family is also just thinking of you and they too worry. I know it makes it hard but when your little Sam grows up to become a young man you will then understand what your family feels when you are hurt. You are also very right about ...it going to take time!! That's the only thing that can make things better:} Good luck to ya and you sound like your pretty happy right now!! __________________ Husband's Paxil Story 3/07---20mg paxil 10/1--tried c/t, lasted 3 days 10/4---back on 19mg 1/2/08--down to 10mg 2/28/08--was taking 10mg every 3 or 4 days 4/12/08--10mg daily dose 7/2/08---dropped to 5mg (his choice):{ 7/11/08---up to 8mg 8/8/08---7mg 8/22/08--6mg?? 9/12/08--5mg 11/07/08--4mg 11/17/08--5mg 1/22/09--4mg 2/28/09--5mg:{ IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DID... YOU'LL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS GOT!

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